Pushing Limits

 Pushing limits is what I have always done. Especially in the world of kink, but not really. How can that be said?

I jerked off the first time with a neighbor, we were probably 9 years old. Though it was before puberty, the point of release was there. I didn't ejaculate semen, but there was the 'tickle,' as I remember describing it. We did it together often.

That neighbor moved, but over the next few years, after entering puberty, another neighbor and I discovered the enjoyment of jerking together. It wasn't long and I discovered I liked being submissive. He would grab my balls and make me jerk for him while holding my balls. There were time I pretended to try and get a way and he would ramp up the control of my jewels and I liked it.

The first time I held his cock in my mouth was when I spent the night with him. His family had an metal building in the back yard, and we 'camped' in that metal building. Of course, as soon as the lights were out, he grabbed me, where he always did, beginning to increase pressure on my balls. The pressure caused me not to be able to move, I was frozen in place. He said to me, "I'll let you go if you put my dick in your mouth." I agreed, and if the truth be known, I was eager to do it. I wasn't gay then and I'm not gay now, but a submissive, eager for the experience. He took his cock out, I got down and placed it in my mouth. We were both so inexperienced and knew nothing about the art of fillacio, I just held it in my mouth for about a minute. I suggested we lay down in the sixty-nine position, we did and we both held each other's cock in our mouths for a while. His erection increased and he suddenly pulled out, rolling over and spilled himself away from me. He was embarrassed. We continued with each other until he went to college. I haven't seen him since. 

I married a wonderful woman. She's vanilla and doesn't understand the kink world. When we had been married about four years, she caught me jerking off. She was very upset. In her mind, she saw it as a deficiency in herself, primarily because she is an only child. She doesn't really fathom the concept of 'boys will be boys.'

We have had a few light kink moments in the bedroom. The most exciting to me, to date, was when she spanked me. We were in the missionary's position and I told her to spank me, in the heat of the moment, and she did, hard, about fifteen times on one cheek. My cheek was on fire...I finished quickly, to say the least.  

My kink world was changed when the internet arrived, though not immediately. In one way, I think it has hindered my kink in some ways and in other ways increased it. The hindering is the anonymity it gives, keeping my kink private and increasing it with exploration into various forms of kink, within myself only. No one else knows of my kink.

Over the last year or so, I have submitted myself to three Dominatrixes (sp?) online. The first two really lit up my experiences. They domed me because they enjoyed it and was not in it to make money. Sadly, they both have left the sites we found each other on. Both of them seemed to particularly enjoy my ball busting fetish. For me, the best part was not knowing what they would require of me next! Exciting is not the word for it. Yet, they both respected my limits, which start at no blood, pee, scatt or needles. I'm open for about anything else at least once. 

The third Dommie I came in contact with through the previous Dommie. She is pretty saddistic. I'm not nearly as comfortable with her as I was with the other two. She has caused me to push my limits though. She caused me to draw blood the last time we played. Quite a bit of blood actually. In my submissiveness to her she told me to tie by cock and balls separately and using tape, place thumb tacks on my ball busting paddle and hit my cock with it. I did and blood shot out of the puncture to my cock head. Was there pain? No, but the tied cock caused the blood to stream out for a moment. It was kind of exciting and shocking but it was not something I really want to do again.

I guess I'll end my entry here, for now.